Today, Again

Today I cried out,
“Lord, when is it my turn?”

Everything feels like a waste—
I am tired of growing fruit
no one stops to taste.

When love stays
long after it is gone,
and peace remains
misunderstood—

when I am wrapped up
in Your goodness,
and joy doesn’t come
when it should

I clothe myself with kindness—
but they assume
I don’t care

all they see
is what they want to see,
like I was never
even there

Patience doesn’t feel gentle—
it feels like something
is torn inside

as I watch the world crumble
and still
have to swallow my pride
I’m waiting for someone

to help soothe the ache—
and I’m scared
it’s a loneliness
I’ll never quite shake

if I’m really honest,
I’ve asked myself
if You are enough

I know that everyone says it—
but right now
I’m not interested
in that stuff

I want something real—
not a shell of myself
something I can feel

But here I am
in the background
watching my unseen faithfulness
fade
because the world wants
an imitation—

and I’m not willing
to make that trade

My emotions have run away with me again—
I don’t know how to quiet my heart

How can You still tell me
that I am set apart?

I wake up each morning
drawing water from the well—

hoping there is something underneath
I just can’t yet tell
I’m tired of holding
my own burdens—

the stones are cold
and they are deep
and still—

You are the only One
my weary soul
longs to seek

I’ll keep the light burning—
to find a place
that feels like home

and perhaps
I’ll find another walking—

and no longer
walk alone